Roadmap to Glory(ish)
A visually dramatic timeline of ambition, mild panic, and questionable strategies
gantt
title đźš§ Roadmap to Glory(ish)
dateFormat YYYY-MM-DD
axisFormat %b '%y
section Q2 2025 – “Just Trust Us”
SSID clustering via vibes :a1, 2025-04-01, 90d
MarketMood.exe beta launch :a2, after a1, 45d
Cold-email DARPA :a3, after a2, 30d
section Q3 2025 – Expansion / Explosion
Hire hacker, medium, lawyer :b1, 2025-07-01, 30d
Secure angel (or actual angel) :b2, after b1, 30d
Publish clustering guide (oops) :b3, after b2, 60d
section Q4 2025 – Pivot
Rebrand as mindfulness startup :c1, 2025-10-01, 30d
Phase 2 lithium browser thing :c2, 2025-11-01, 90d
Launch NFT compliance training :c3, after c2, 30d
section Q1 2026 – Redemption
Apology tour (3 countries min.) :d1, 2026-01-01, 30d
Attempt IPO with whiteboard :d2, after d1, 60d
Docuseries release :d3, after d2, 30d